some words by leonard cohen.

"A Thousand Kisses Deep"

The ponies run, the girls are young,
The odds are there to beat.
You win a while, and then it’s done –
Your little winning streak.
And summoned now to deal
With your invincible defeat,
You live your life as if it’s real,
A Thousand Kisses Deep.

I’m turning tricks, I’m getting fixed,
I’m back on Boogie Street.
You lose your grip, and then you slip
Into the Masterpiece.
And maybe I had miles to drive,
And promises to keep:
You ditch it all to stay alive,
A Thousand Kisses Deep.

And sometimes when the night is slow,
The wretched and the meek,
We gather up our hearts and go,
A Thousand Kisses Deep.

Confined to sex, we pressed against
The limits of the sea:
I saw there were no oceans left
For scavengers like me.
I made it to the forward deck.
I blessed our remnant fleet –
And then consented to be wrecked,
A Thousand Kisses Deep.

I’m turning tricks, I’m getting fixed,
I’m back on Boogie Street.
I guess they won’t exchange the gifts
That you were meant to keep.
And quiet is the thought of you,
The file on you complete,
Except what we forgot to do,
A Thousand Kisses Deep.

And sometimes when the night is slow,
The wretched and the meek,
We gather up our hearts and go,
A Thousand Kisses Deep.

The ponies run, the girls are young,
The odds are there to beat . . .

i am fucking done.

well, that is it! i'm done with my family. they are all a bunch of caniving liers... so much for going back home next fall, that is not happening unless I can get my own place which I cant afford, nor can I look and approve a place from 1,000 miles away. nor am i going to get into usf, nor can i afford ut soooo I'm FUCKED basically! I am seriously thinking of quitting school and doing something else... man, if it wasnt for my dog I so would. You have no idea how tempted I am to 'move' home and dissapear. Seriously, I would tell absolutely no one where I am going. that would be awesome. I know where I would go though. I'd get a passport and buhbyeee.

Anyways, I am absolutely not talking to my mom. I totally took apart my phone and everything else so i can't get tempted. Everytime I want to talk to my mom I'm just going to come here and say what I want to say. It's going to be hard, but I cannot let this family manipulate my life anymore. I would do so many things differently in my life, first not get a dog, second i'd never move here. I don't even really care about anything at the moment and dont really care about anyone anymore.

anyways, thats more of the depressing thoughts for now. merry fucking christmas.

I realized I love reading musician biographies because I can totally place myself in the story, like a fly on the wall. I'm not talking Gene Simmons or anything, the Bob Dylans, Elliott Smiths, and Jeff Buckleys of the world is what I mean. Huge personalities, quiet personalities, and little lives. That's what I really love.

I had to write a Jeff Buckley paper for music appreciation so I flipped through Dream Brother again. Kingdom for a kiss is also a really good fansite with tons of quotes and interviews, really great stuff. Like this one, which I love:

"I learned long ago not to attach [death] to either myths or truths or mystic truths or special books written by people a long time ago, I have no preconceptions whatsoever about the void and about the end, except that I feel there is none, really no end." -jeff buckley


I did survive my wisdom teeth, hoorah! It wasnt so bad, it really didnt hurt at all. My stitches just fell out. erm, i mean i may have pulled them out. dont tell my dentist, shhhh. it was an interesting ordeal.

I still have one paper to write this weekend and I am tackling the daunting task of pivot tables on excel, weeee! I have no idea what I am doing but I shall report my findings. I hope I get this paper to Kelly sometime this century, haha. Oh geeze I just realized that in two months time it will be a new decade. Where did the time go...

I am also loving the #youmightbealiberal topic on youtube. what started out making fun of liberals, is now liberals calling conservatives dumb basically. love it.

#youmightbealiberal if you think karl marx is a little bit sexy:

anyways, that is all. there are papers to write and cigarettes to get at the drugstore! (not for me!)

wisdom teeth tomorrow.

uh, yeah... not really looking forward to that one. i hope i survive!



just because i love it and it makes me happy:

better love. &inspiration.

(Borrowed from lookbook.nu :D)


So here I sit. Some years have passed
I say I don't but I miss her bad
I smell her in my sheets you see
Like she's sleeping next to me
She'll say
Jack, I'm leaving now
So don't you wait up for me
Cause better love I'm yet to see <3

i count the freckles on her face one, two, three hundred times a day.

I didn't die, sorta. Let me update on the last few weeks.

Hanson was amazing (as if there was any doubt that it would be true). The setlist left a little to be desired because all tour they were doing amazing covers of Journey, Bon Jovi, etc and we got stuck with "Oh Darling" which they've played a million times. I'm just a little bitter about that, "Don't Stop Believing" would have kicked so much booty. Hanson would have been even more amazing if these two kids next to us could have stopped making out and touching for five seconds. I swear, I attract these people! Not even joking. It happens everywhere I go. I'm not a total prude but I just don't need to be rubbing up against these types while I am trying to enjoy Hanson, Ok?

Anyways, us:


Opening acts (who with the exception of hellogoodbye were pretty awesome!). Especially Steel Train, because they were from New Jersey, so hello they gained about 500 cool points!




Hanson:





Ok, so then after Hanson was all awesome and stuff- I got the swine flu. I had to miss my Sociology test and my statistics class (which was the last class before a test, ick) and go to the clinic and get some tamiflu (250 dollars later...) which made me even sicker. So I spent all of Tuesday in the bathroom dying, I mean I was really dying. But anyway, that's what I get for going out and having a life- swine flu. How I am punished. Friday I have my wisdom tooth removal, fun stuff. I am so not looking forward to that on about a zillion levels. Everyone tells me I'll be fine, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to die. Also, no insurance so I dont think I'll be taking any vicodin. YAY. I'm hoping I will lose a few pounds though (yeah I know, how healthy) since I wont be able to eat anything but yogurt and broth. YUMMY.

In other news, the new album from Tegan and Sara is awesome. Also, The Rocket Summer songs are good but I am hoping the album isn't as preachy as the songs on the ep. It's not that I don't like the songs, it's just what I've always loved about the rocket summer is he talks about his faith in a nonpreachy way, and in most of the songs if you didn't know thats what he was singing about you wouldnt just figure it out because they just sound like normal love songs. The new songs- not so much. I kind of feel like the rocket summer hates me for being an atheist. Which is really ok.

Tomorrow my music appreciation class is cancelled which is pretty awesome. I only have my ethics class where we are watching a movie so, yay.

Also, big BOO on election day. Boo on Maine for making the lousy choice of preventing people love and the comfort that a marriage brings. We won't stop fighting...

Although someplace in Colorado legalized marijuana, so it wasnt a total loss.

Ok, the end of this not so interesting post.

<3 Cher

Things I Love Thursday

Some things that I have loved this week.






Cuddly times with the beast (this is an old picture though. shes still as cute)


The Avett Brothers lyrics: (they are genius aren't they?)

Tear down the house
That I grew up in
I'll never be the same again
Take everything that I’ve collected
And throw it in a pile

Bulldoze the woods
That I ran through
Carry the pictures of me and you
I have no memory of who I once was
And I don't remember your name

Park the old car
That I love the best
(The) inspections due and it won’t pass the test
It’s funny how I have to put it to rest
And how one day…I will join it

I remember crying over you
And I don't mean like a couple of tears
And then I'm blue
I’m talkin’ about collapsing
And screaming at the moon
But I'm a better man
For having gone through it
Yes, I'm a better man
For having gone through…

Ever since I learned how to curse
I’ve been using those sorry old words
But, I’m talkin’ to these children
And I’m keeping it clean
I don’t need those words
To say what I mean
No, I don’t need those words
To say what I mean

Tear down the house
That I grew up in
I'll never be the same again
Take everything that I used to own
And burn it in a pile

And, bulldoze the woods
That I ran through
Carry the pictures of me and you
I have no memory of who I once was
And I don't remember your name




Also this quote by Jeff Buckley (what a beautiful man!):
"I don't have any allegiance to an organized religion; I have an allegiance to the gifts that I find for myself in those religions... I'd rather be non-denominational, except for music. I prefer to learn everything through music. If you want divinity, the music in every human being and their love for music is pretty much it. It's the big indication of their spirituality and their ability to love and make love, or feel pain or joy, and really manifest it, really be real. But I don't believe in a big guy with a beard on a throne, telling us that we're bad; I certainly don't believe in original sin. I believe in the opposite of that: you have an Eden immediately from the time you are born, but as you are conditioned by your caretakers and your surroundings, you may lose that original thing. Your task is to get back to it, to claim responsibility for your own perfection."


This blog (Click the photo to go there!):












also, remembering fun times with friends:







and having no school on tuesday! I spent all day paper writing, but I loved it just the same.


<3

simple joys.

Every morning while getting ready for elementary school I faithfully listened to the Z Morning Zoo on Z100. When I moved to New Jersey I was very sad and had to settle for lesser morning shows. My sophmore year in high school, I realized one of our local stations syndicated the Z Morning Zoo! and life was good again! I listened to it every single morning for the rest of high school, and after high school (if I was awake early enough). And life was good.

I am listening to the Z Morning Zoo on my computer (what would we do without the internet?) and it reminds me of old times <3 Love it. No radio stations here carry it which is sad, its better to listen to it on the actual radio. But this will do!

If you want to listen, you can go here: http://www.z100.com/main.html

I'm going to be writing...

for http://www.thekooky.co.uk/blog. It's a liberal feminist blog my friend Kelly from the UK started, it should be fun and interesting! Everyone check it out! Lots of lovely ladies participating x3

My first article (which is really me cheating because I have to do a paper on it anyway) is how politics and music preference correlate. COOL!

<3 Cher

umm, yeah. I am so ahead in my homework its actually borderline scary. This probably means I have no life. Strike that probably. It definetly means that.

I've spent the morning looking up things on Ikea for my imaginary closet, did 500 words of a 2,000 word paper on Jeff Buckley that isnt due until december (um, yeah- sad that I can write a paper on jeff buckley from memory. very sad), and looked up outfits on lookbook that people who i wish i looked like post. yay morning.

Also, I love red lipstick.

That is all!

a question.

Does it make me a bad person that I totally judge people who have really nice vw bugs but go to community college and not an actual university? Yeah, pretty sure it does. I mean these are some nice vehicles that I'm sure costed them (or more likely their parents) a pretty penny.

I'm not mean, just bitter.

hello again.

hello again, its me *cue cheesy tommy lee song*

Somebody tell me how my sociology teacher expects me to do this paper? I have no idea what any of this stuff means on the rubric or how I am going to get it up to the wordcount that she is asking. Some of the things include "Literature Review" and "Appopriateness Of Method"... I don't know. I'm rethinking being a sociology major.


Oh yeah... I picked a major!

That's basically the only thing thats changed since August. Well, I also got a new haircut... which I already need trimmed. I turned 21 which was a total bust (rather not relive that), my mom moved into a new (much smaller) house, I'm going to see Hanson at the end of the month and yeah- thats basically it. I got accepted to UT but I really have no intentions on actually attending... sooo I guess that doesnt matter much. Socially nothing has changed except I need to get the eff outta here! I cannot stand Florida for one second longer (but yet I'll at least be here until the first month of May)... argh. I just cannot stand my aunt or this place anymore... so intolerant. i cant help it, i love the 'sinners' of the world and i cannot stand living with someone smallminded. thats what it is right, a small mind? Gee I hope so. i'm a liberal, get the fuck used to it!

Oh yeah, whats up with all the ringwingnutters that have been on the news lately? I swear, America is like some bad movie at the moment. You people all need to take a fucking chill pill. The public option failed, we will never have universal health care in this country because people are too fucking selfish. I get it. Don't cry when your child dies because of a pre-existing condition! KARMAS A BITCH!


anyways, I should start writing again. Its relaxing. Somebody might read this... maybe... yeah, probably not.

cher

nj owns.

There are a few reasons why Jersey is the best state in the union and completely owns Florida. Let's run through them.

1) In summer you can actually go outside without dying a little. Imagine that, enjoying being outdoors!
2) The people are better. I love going places and actually seeing people I know (whether I like them or not is another story). If I like them I obviously want to see them. If I dont like them I'm usually seeing them at some skeevy minimum wage job that caused them to gain about 100 lbs. Yes this actually happened this week and I loved it. Take THAT bitchy girl from high school that made fun of my frizzy hair!
3) My friends.
4) My house and its big bedrooms.
5) The lanes are so wide and roomy!
6) The speedlimits are actually normal and not 100 mph.
7) You don't need to go to a tattoo parlor just to get your ears pierced.
8)You can walk to PA. I don't reccomend this however.
9) NYC
10) My Family. Actually, this one is kind of a neutral; LOL.
11) The Shoe Dept.
12) There are actually awesome concerts.
13) The Beach
14) Cable. This is obviously condusive to my house, not NJ. FL actually does have cable, lol, I just dont. As I write this I am watching 100 greatest 80's songs on vh1. loveee it.
15) Gay marriage is almost legal!

A few things Florida wins at:
1) You never have to bag your own groceries. I fucking HATE bagging groceries, I'm terrible at it!
2) I kind of enjoy pumping my own gas. its sexy.
3) Movie tickets arent 10 dollars!


I'm sure there are more. Will revise.

fred durst got married

and somewhere, a 10 year old version of myself is crying. yes, i loved fred durst when i was 10/11 years old. yes i was allowed to listen to limp bizkit. yes, my parents were insane. of course, when i'm in a bad mood i do secretly listen to break stuff in my room to, you know, avoid breaking stuff.

<3 cher

I will not text.

How many times have you had to seriously fight the urge to obsessively compulsively text a boy or girl that you are infatuated with at that very moment??? I have to keep reminding myself that doing this is never ever a good idea. It usually comes off as clingy and annoying and you get into a texting marathon that seems to never end. Then you feel empty when said boy (or girl) doesn't text you or doesn't answer your texts. Then you feel like killing yourself because this obviously means nobody in the world is ever going to love you and you are completely hideous and boring.

For anyone struggling with the idea of resisting the texting fever, just do it. You'll feel that much better when he/she voluntarily texts you without you texting a thousand times seeing where said person is. You'll feel better if you keep crazy girl locked up. Crazy girl is every girl's alter ego that comes out the second she likes a boy, and you guessed it- she acts crazy. Keep her locked up at all costs or you may be sorry.

You are so welcome for the helpful advice,
CHER<3